Friend or Foe?

So there are only a few hours left of what has been quite a dramatic year filled with ups and downs….this post is however not about that.

You know that saying keep your friends close and your enemies even closer? Well what I have realized is that 2009 has been a year of where you just don’t know who is who anymore. What is it with woman that we are incapable of putting friendship before men? Men seem capable of separating the two but us woman would rather scratch another friends eyes out before we give in…and then when all is done we smile, wave and share a drink together as if all is well. I am only making two new years resolutions and one of them is to not take peoples bullshit for even a second because I have realized that if people see even the slightest opening for riding over you…they will.I have one wish and one wish only for my friends this new years and that is to learn and appreciate your worth…too many of us think we need men to affirm our value and therefore end up doing stupid things!

Cheers!

Pimp Princess

laugh out fucking loud

Laughing my ass off seriously.....

It's all true.... the problem child story is 100% true,the police were honest to God there. And can I just ask since when do police officers walk with people from the police station to someone's house to sort out something as stupid as this. Are they not supposed to be chasing and catching murderer's ,rapists,con artists etc etc Fuck there are hardcore criminals out there KILLING people and the police find the time to come and do this..... what the fuck...
well at least we know the police keep us safe....NOT

the second matter.... being someone's bitch....
totally true. These guys think that they are the ones in control and that they are the ones controlling things and the chick, meanwhile hahahahaha... you are her bitch!!!

I've taken a break from all of it. No 30 day challenge, none of that for me...
When the first of January comes around however I think I'll be back.
We've had a good year, we did!! there were ups and downs and lots of fun and sad moments and fun really happy ones and then it just got CRAZY .

I just want to say please take your medication. PLEASE
Also dont drink and take your meds,will fuck your life up, You'll end up homeless and friendless too.
dont do it

Ok people be good
dont drink and drive ...
driking and typing works though

How normal guys turn into someone's Bitch....

We are still trying to figure out how this happens, maybe its something in the air...maybe its just a Cape Town thing...lol. You take a perfectly normal guy who claims he got game, is strong, confident and will "never be anyone's bitch"....Next thing he is following you around like a little puppy dog...literally!

At first this can be fun...I mean it is quite amusing watching a grown man act so whipped! May as well get him a collar n walk him down the street on a leash..lol! Now I dunno about you, but I like my men to act like men...otherwise I would just become lesbian! On the other hand caveman/muvhango behaviour is not tolerated!

Here is a little word of advice for all the men out there prone to turning into someone's b***h:

1. Once a chick sees she can control you, you have lost the upper hand and you will NEVER get it back again.

2. Confidence is attractive...arrogance is a huge turn off. We would prefer to find out for ourselves if you are the s**t than have you give us a play by play of how amazing you are.

3.You need to meet a woman on her level, it dont matter how hot you are, how much money you have...if you cannot keep up with her mentally and say stuff that really makes her think....its late for you!

The Killing of Problem Child...

Simply put...the BITCH had to go!As you may have notices...problem child is unstable.Pimp palace or as we now like to call it..The Penthouse,had its official intro to Cape Town two weeks ago(pics might be posted)but what many people didnt know was what was happening behind the scenes.

Three days before..problem child had forgot to take her meds and got wasted.This was followed by her launching into a fight and threating to stab people!By 4am problem child had left this planet for CRAZYVILLE and was screaming and running up and down the house.Eventually she left....or not.The morning of the grand opening...she called the cops on us.bet you wondering why?Well,i dont speak psycho-bitch but she had made up a story in her head that we were gonna throw her stuff out(was highly tempting)and apparently one is meant to give notice to friends who stay at your place for a few days before kicking them out...(seriously???).I must also mention that her boyfriend had been calling me begging me to let her come back and was planning to make her apologize.

Rule number one people!Rule number two...dont threaten a chick who has lawyers and government ministers as family...thats just dumb!Now problem child had already pushed my buttons by sending me threatening smses about how she WILL move back in and stay but after the cops...she was just begging for a PK!So right then and there,i gave her notice and told her if her she has 7days to get her shit out but she herself was not allowed back into the building.4 days later...

Quote of the week!

"BITCH bites back!" "Im not interested" "time for a Roasting"

Tequilla will make you happy

I must say I like my position in this little love triangle/square thing we have going on here.

I see the girls enough to know what's going on and I get to be neutral when certain things become sensitive issues.

I had already decided that I would like to move in(illegally and not paying rent) for the duration of the World Cup,but now that the ladies are moving to an even better love nest.There is no doubt in my mind.... ok ladies I tease but I'll be there lots and wont bring home short men.....hehehehe I promise.

oh by the way is it perhaps...just maybe a problem that we are never without alcohol????

For those of you feeling a little blue,cheer up it's xmas and new years and there's lots of food and wine. So show a little skin,drink some tequilla and have big big fun!!!!!

Oh and please be safe....

I will report on the activities happening because guess what I stay sober the longest...but trust me these ladies are going to have an awesome fun filled summer with lots of ayoba-ness(can I say that???)

UPDATE

So,its been awhile or as they say here. .been a minute!Lots has happend-one member left for a quick legal battle in Africas version of Germany-leader included.I gave up my leisurely life of working 3hrs a day to 11hrs cause i needed to spend more time with arrogent shits.Our last member,parties by day and works by night(take your mind out the gutter).Unfortunately thanks to 2010,finding a new property for pimp palace is being delayed.Watch this space to find out about our EPIC nite/morning at Cubana-it will reveal even more about SA men!

a new type of threat. .

I used to only be worried about 2 types of females,BEE weave wearing bitches and skinny blonde chicks that need to have a sandwich tossed at them.Everything else i thought i atleast had a chance against in the club world.A scary new breed has emerged and walks the streets though. .the white bitchon heat.now im not racist but this breed(WBH)has become a serious threat!they enter ALL kinds of clubs and go for everything with a penis.i have watched some of these WBHs in action and i have witnessed how they attempt to do some form of shakira hip thrusting which looks more like they having a fit of sorts.these WBHs somehow manage to actually get their prey(whether it be the black man,white man with a mavericks girlfriend or cape flats coloured boy).do not get it twisted thinking they ever give up or just go for one man. .they want all the men in the club.the funny thing about this breed is that they only operate at night and are very respectful people during the day.remember ladies. .its a jungle out there!

Quote of the Week

So I've decided to start this thing called the Quote of the Week.

So here's the first one...Dedicated to...YOU

"People who have never been across the border, should never try get with people who are from across the border and beyond" (The Brand)

Just came to mind and I think it is very fitting to start the week off!

The Muvhangoisation of Strong, Independent Women....

You meet them everyday, young women of colour, out there in the world doing their thing. Most are highly educated with at least a 1st degree under their belts. On the outside they are strong, smart, independent and confident. Yet in certain situations....something comes over them and next thing you know, its like you are in an episode of Muvhango!

The behaviour habits of these women:

1. Kneeling down to serve men dinner. Now I'm all for catering to my man, but I'm gonna do it standing up! And the favour will be returned...this is not a one way street.
2. When invited to a braai, making a beeline for the "women" where she proceeds to start whipping up a salad, buttering rolls and organising plates (Please note, she is not even at her own house!). Whilst this is happening, the men are outside grunting, drinking beer and making the fire. Now im sorry but, as much as I can make a good salad, I will not be forced to be in the kitchen whilst the men are having a good time. So my tip is, bring the salad pre-made, arrive with a 6 pack of Heiniken and get out there n mingle with the men...they so much more fun anyway!
3. The desire to dish for the men in the room, serve them first and give them the best food. Now this is where I draw the line! I mean, yes let the man have the big piece of chicken. But this hierarchy thing....nah! In my palace, its self service...unless you my man and Ive invited you over for dinner.

No, you are probably asking yourself...How is it that these well educated, independent women fall into the trap of Muvhangoisation.....

- Some people blame it on culture. As much as we are all living in the 21st century, certain traditional continue to exist. But people must remember, these traditions were put into place when women had no rights and were just baby making, in the kitchen, wives and mother.

The modern women has so much more to do. I mean we have empires to build, careers to establish, Christian Lubbuton heels to buy and cocktails to drink! Hence we cannot be expected to be doing all this serving on bended knee and shuffling out of a room crap!

So if you are an independent ambitious man who cannot handle an independent ambitious women, who is on your level and will stimulate you mentally, emotionally and physically....then don't even bother! Head back to the village and get your self a nice Muvhango looking woman, ready to cook and shuffle at your beck and call...

Weekend Special

will refer to myself as the weekend special,because I'm not always around when the others do some of the crazy things they do. I am the innocent one....no really I am...hehehhehehe
I was not around for the INCIDENT,and you'll see when I'm around it's all calm,it's all make love not war.
Ok enough with that nonsense ,only reason is because I
dont live as close to the rest of the crazy ones.No crazy isnt the right word for us ......adventurous,young,single-ish(dont ask,our relationship status's are a whole other entry,actually might be a book),smart,funny,wait let me stop now before you start hating us.

oh champagne is our new thing,with meals,without meals,evenings,mornings,afternoons,weekdays,weekends,you get what I'm saying,it's fun try it,but not alone!Not sure why we've been so delayed about the champagne.
On that bubbly and very random fact about us loving champagne now.I'm off to bed

What will be known as....THE INCIDENT

So do u wanna know the elusive 3rd member of The Brand?? It all started at a popular BEE hang out spot.we all only had enough cash for one drink. .this member. .who we will now refer 2 is problem child,attracted the attention of a short,chubby man and his bad breath friend.long story short,problem child decided to stay while we left.this was possibly the longest nite of our lives.problem girl had no money and no cellphone and was stuck in durbanville with 2 men.she managed to get dropped off at a petrol station and used the persons phone to call me. .she thought the men where going to rape her.long story short. .the man called me to say my friend is crazy and stole his car,crashed his car,bit him,tried to break his glasses.he called the cops to arrest her.in the mean time. .back in the pimp crib,we were trying to get a car to fetch her.eventually she got escorted home by police.we had a huge fight(side note. .she had stollen the mans housekeys)and we kicked her out cause she thought we had done nothing to help.

the rest to follow...

Triffling Ass @#!##! AKA The Black South African Man

Now Ive travelled around the world, I mean every famous brand has to be international! N Ive met people from different places, different cultures. But there is one species that continues to elude me...and that is the black south african man.

These dudes are on a whole other level and the problem is, they think they are smarter than the rest of us....lol....do you not remember south africa has one of the lowest education rates in Africa! (Matric is a joke...) Anyway this is not the point of this post

What Im gonna do is make this a little How to Guide, in order for you to spot this rare species of man...

1. Friends always come first, and when I say friends I mean his boys. This means if he is out with his boys he will not do the following things:

a) Under any circumstance answer his cellphone (this is when this species of man uses the classic line that was invented purely for dumb south african women..."I couldn't hear my phone"). This is his way of still saving face in front of his boys...I mean you cant be acting all whipped about the chick...thats just not good for the brand....lol
b) Answer your SMSes....remember..he cant hear his phone....
c) If you had plans that night, he will not let you know he cant make it. He'll use classic line no 2...I got so wasted/tired and passed out. Seems everyone these days can just "Blame it on the alcohol"....
d) If you are with him and he is with his boys...He will avoid any form of PDA. Gotta keep that swagger on and showing affection to your girlfriend...Not good for the brand!

So here is the first installment...more to come!

A Brand in the making...

Seems everyone in Cape Town thinks their famous, so much so that they refer to themselves in two ways. One, as the person and two, as the brand.

As I start this blog we have already lost a member, her brand went biopolar on our ass and decided to leave the "corporation". But as she'll see, its tough and lonely out there in the streets of Cape Town, and I'm sure she'll be applying to be re-instated soon!

Here's to the launch of The Brand (Cape Town)